Hello, everyone.
This is Enta.
Lately, I've been having a lot more opportunities to talk with various business owners.
What's funny is that I end up hearing the same story over and over again in such a short period of time lol
I get the impression this is common among business owners (middle-aged guys?) and site supervisors in their late 40s to 50s; sometimes the same topic comes up three or four times in a single day.
Seriously, it's exhausting for the listener lol
It’s fine up to the second time, but by the third or fourth time, you can’t help but think, “Oh, I heard this story just a little while ago,” lol.
But that's beside the point.
That said, it’s not easy to just say, “I’ve already heard that story.”
I wondered why this was happening, so I used AI and search engines to look into it.
I'm sure you've all experienced this countless times, lol.
That phenomenon where the same story comes up multiple times a day
At gatherings of business owners or during business meetings, I exchange business cards with numerous people throughout the day (and barely remember any of them), and I have the opportunity to catch up with each of them about what they’ve been up to.
I often meet up with various people and chat with them (though, to be honest, it doesn't happen that often lol),
Every time that happens, I catch myself thinking, “Wait, didn’t I just hear this story a moment ago?!” over and over again, and I just think this person is a lost cause lol.
I’m wondering if this is less a matter of simple aging or forgetfulness and more a phenomenon that tends to happen on busier days? But,
Even if I can remember each story individually, when several come up in a single day, do the details of who I told what to start to get a little fuzzy?
Why Do We Keep Repeating the Same Story? | Possible Reasons
After looking at several columns on psychology and neuroscience, I found that they identified four main tendencies as reasons why people tend to repeat the same stories.
① I don't remember who I told
In psychology-related columns, it is often noted that while people tend to remember “what they said,” they often have a hard time recalling “to whom they said it.”
For people who meet with several people a day and bring up similar topics, it seems that this is a situation where it’s particularly easy to forget who they’ve already spoken to.
In a sense, it may be only natural that the more business card exchanges you go through, the more the other person’s face and the details of your conversation become jumbled up in your mind.
② The more emotionally charged an event is, the more likely it is to stick in your memory.
According to neuroscience research, events that evoke strong emotions tend to be more firmly embedded in our memories, and we tend to want to talk about them repeatedly.
From stories about contracts that made me happy to complaints that made me angry—based on my own experience, I can definitely see why these kinds of stories tend to get retold over and over again.
I can totally relate to that—I forget routine work updates right away, but when it comes to things that really got under my skin, I can talk about them over and over again lol.
③ They feel reassured when someone listens to them
It seems that when we share the same stories, we’re driven by a desire to feel a sense of reassurance that others empathize with us, as well as a psychological need to feel that our own stories have value.
This tendency may be even more pronounced for those in key positions—such as site supervisors—who are particularly busy and often have to make on-site decisions on their own during the day.
It seems that talking itself serves as a form of stress relief in some ways.
④ The busier you are, the more of your brain’s resources are taken up by “talking”
It seems that keeping track of who you’re talking to and what you’re saying while conversing with many people places a considerable strain on the brain’s working memory.
Business owners and site supervisors who handle multiple business negotiations and meetings each day are likely to be particularly susceptible to this strain.
Trying to keep track of who we’ve talked to and what we’ve discussed in the past while engaging in a new conversation may simply be too much for the human brain to handle.
Why Don't People Say the Same Thing on the Job?
What's interesting is that this phenomenon doesn't happen very often in the field.
I get the impression that, surprisingly, we rarely find ourselves repeating the same discussions when it comes to topics like drilling depth, material formulations, and process adjustments.
When I think about why this might be, it’s probably because stories from the field are directly linked to “the challenges right in front of us right now,” so they’re processed more as judgments than as memories.
On the other hand, I think past events—such as those from our personal lives or at work—tend to be remembered as emotionally charged “episodes” and are likely to resurface repeatedly.
Even when talking about the same job site, it seems this difference is what causes stories like “that time I got really yelled at” to come up again and again long afterward, rather than stories about problems that arose during construction.
Just saying, “Did I mention this before?” can lighten the mood.
After doing some research, the method that felt most natural to me was to start the conversation by saying, “Did I mention this before?”
Just by saying this, the other person can casually reply, “I’ve heard that before,” and if it’s their first time hearing it, they’ll feel at ease and can just listen.
It’s one of those phrases that’s hard to say but really effective—it lets both of you have a relaxed conversation, lol.
To be honest, I think there are quite a few times when I’m not even aware that I’m repeating myself.
I know I sound a bit high and mighty here, but I’m in no position to judge others, lol.
Even so, just saying, “Did I already mention this?” should put both the listener and the speaker at ease.
Especially if they're your subordinates.
Even with our busy daily lives, it’s nice to have enough time to say at least that one little thing.
Or rather, I’d like you to say that, wouldn’t you?
It's so painful when they bring up the same story again just an hour later, lol
You get it, right?
See you later.
