"This isn't where I belong."
I work as a temporary employee. I finished my previous assignment at the end of June and started working here at the beginning of July. About two weeks after I was assigned here, I actually started having a certain thought.
It may sound a bit presumptuous, but what I mean is, “This place (my current workplace) doesn’t seem like the right fit for me.” No matter what organization you’re in or what position you hold, finding a job that satisfies you 100% is practically a miracle. I understand that, but this workplace feels like it’s in a completely different world.
The department I was assigned to is supposed to focus primarily on on-site supervision, but it has become clear that this organization is nowhere near capable of carrying out proper on-site supervision. It seems that the people in this organization have no knowledge of other organizations and have never even tried to learn about them.
The job briefings for new temporary workers like me are also extremely inadequate, and there’s a real sense that they genuinely believe, “It’s probably done the same way at every worksite, so you should be able to handle it without any special explanation, right?”
As proof of this, they unilaterally change the details discussed in meetings with contractors without notifying us, insist that we just lower the price, make decisions entirely on their own without even asking how the work will be carried out, and when we point out that the anchorage length of the rebar shown on the drawings is far shorter than the specifications, they respond with nonsensical remarks like, “It’s already been decided!”
A workplace where no one listens to anything you say
They insist that as long as the construction guidelines are in place, the rest can be left to the contractors and the work will proceed on its own! It seems the only criterion for judging competence is whether someone can use Excel freely. Whenever I draw up construction drawings, I’m told, “We don’t even need drawings like these!” and I’ve started to wonder what on earth I’m even doing here.
Even when I try to warn them as gently as possible—saying, “This isn’t going to work”—to avoid causing any friction, they refuse to listen to a single word. I can’t help but feel like the people in this organization are telling me, “No matter what anyone says, we’re going to keep doing things the way we’ve always done them!”
When nothing I say seems to make a difference, I find myself on the verge of giving up—thinking that maybe I should just do exactly as I’m told, regardless of whether it’s right or wrong. But I know that if I start thinking that way, it’s all over, and above all, it’s obvious that the quality of my work will suffer.
So, should I just keep insisting to myself, “This is bad! This is wrong!”? Or is the best choice to just go with the flow, turn a blind eye to the mistakes, try not to get too frustrated, and live with a clear mind?
No matter how I looked at it, that wasn’t the right answer. I didn’t want to lie to myself. I didn’t want to run away. There had to be a different way of thinking, a more positive approach. Or maybe I should just go for it and crash right into it? One day, as I was mulling over these thoughts, something happened.
“I tried smashing into it with a ”Boom!”
When I was handed the drawings and flipped through them quickly, I noticed a few points that made me think, “Huh? No matter how I look at this, this is definitely a problem!” so I asked some questions.
The reinforcement for the concrete floor slab in the small building is shown as D10 single @ 300, while the outdoor concrete floor outside it is shown as wire mesh with a diameter of 10 @ 300. It is unclear why only the outdoor area uses wire mesh, but if you stack at least three layers of 10-diameter wire mesh, that alone would result in a thickness of 60. Considering that the concrete slab is shown to be 100 thick, this simply does not add up no matter how you look at it.
When I asked the person in charge, “Is that okay?” they said nothing, stood up, and walked away. Then, two or three hours later, I received an email that simply said, “It’s No. 6 wire mesh!”
I wish he’d just answered that much verbally… The concrete cover is calculated at 32, which is still insufficient, but since it was a hassle, I didn’t press him any further either.
In addition, a simple special specifications sheet for the structure was attached, and since the “Concrete Strength” column listed a design strength of 18 N, I asked a few more questions verbally.
"Does that mean the design strength is calculated as 3 + 3 + 6, totaling 24 N? Also, since the total volume of ready-mix concrete is 150 m³ or less, I think 9 test specimens (3 × 3) for the one-week and four-week curing periods should be sufficient. What do you think? The slab has a single layer of rebar, but the direction of the main reinforcement alternates depending on the shape of the plan. I think it’s sufficient to just provide instructions on-site for that—is that okay? What do you think?”
When I fired off a barrage of questions, he simply said, “Send your questions by email!” and, without giving me any answers, got up from his seat and walked off somewhere.
I went back to my seat and sent a question via email, but I didn't receive a reply until two days later. After waiting two days, the reply simply said, "That's common sense!"—and that was all.
Why I Came to the Site
It went on like this the whole time, and from then on, no matter what I asked, the answer was almost always just, “That’s correct!” It’s better than getting no response at all, but since none of the answers included their own interpretation or opinion, I’m left wondering, “Is this really okay?”
I don't think I've made any wrong suggestions, but the way things are going, it just looks like I'm doing everything exactly as I please. Since I don't want to get criticized later, I print out all my email replies and file them away so I can show them at any time.
I make all kinds of suggestions and offer input on the job site; I do this because it helps me review what I know, and I feel that, at the very least, it gives some meaning to my being here.
I was so curious that I asked the person sitting right behind me at the office, “Is this pretty much how things are done around here?” She gave me a vague smile, waved her hand, and said, “Well, I don’t know—I’m in a different department,” then bolted as if to say, “Don’t bother me!” (lol).
Even now, I continue to work here, feeling a sense of unease every day and thinking to myself, “This workplace really isn’t the right place for me.”
